Good Friday is upon us and I want to talk about pain...
Pain- physical/mental suffering or discomfort caused by illness or injury.
I am in the season of discomfort and I feel like I’m suffering. The mental pain is causing physical pain from an old injury...
It’s been difficult to put into words my thoughts... my ideas, or even my since of desire.
You see In this season I’ve faced my worst fears one right after the other.
As I’ve approached each hurdle I found a wound...
I found fears within myself we all hate to admit, let alone vocalize.
MY pain has been a since of belonging, because of abandonment
My pain has been a fear of rejection, because of my past
MY pain has been a hurt of unworthiness, because I’ve never felt like I was enough.
MY pain had been idle.... and was finally triggered by loneliness.
I just want you to know, it’s okay to admit what’s hurting even if its within you.
The Journey with God when you’re healing from so much worldly pain is much like open heart surgery. The heart is such an intricate, delicate, and important vessel.
The success rate for open heart surgery is 85-98%
In open heart surgery the doctor cuts 6 to 8 inches along the middle of the chest through the breastbone to access the heart.
They also stop the heart from beating, from there a machine takes over the hearts pumping action.
My operation began with finally accepting Christ as my Lord and savior.
Basking in his love and grace, but then the time comes where I face my exposed wounds with him. Taking off the band aids on gouges.... Repairing them one by one. After Ive faced the wounds that were visible I submitted even more of myself, where faith is all that I have. That is when we focus on healing my mind, changing my thoughts and actions. THEN we look to my heart, after all that healing all that change never did I think my heart was lacking.
When we got to my heart I saw the beauty within me. I saw my capabilities, but in my heart was where I found my greatest fears. In my heart was where I found my deepest pain. To submit and allow God to open those things locked deep within was not easy. IT WAS PAINFUL. IT was exhausting.
WITH God, I KNOW The success rate is 110% for my operation.
HERE IS THE AMAZING PART....
After the major operation of heart surgery within recovery there is rehabilitation....
Doctors say during RECOVERY
It’s perfectly normal to experience tiredness and pain
They say to be patient and take your time.
I MAY BE TIRED
I MAY EXPERIENCE PAIN
But I know it’s all apart of my HEALING!
Amongst all of that I found that my issue was not giving love, it was receiving, and in my rehabilitation I'm learning how to use my heart all over again.
The right way this time.
But guess who made it out of surgery.
And guess who has more than what they started with.
GUESS WHO IS WHOLE.
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